Swimming Lessons

My boys started swimming lessons on Monday morning. I am amazed at how much they have already learned in 4 lessons. I think the hardest thing for most kids is getting over their fear of the water - especially going under the water. The hardest thing for me is knowing when to push my children to do something they are afraid of and when to back off and let it go. At the end of each lesson all of the kids alternate between jumping off of the diving board and sliding down a slide into the water (instructors catch the kids in the water). My kids have been great at dunking their faces into the water and diving down into the water (4 feet) to get diving rings, but the diving board (10 ft.) and the slide (5 ft.) scare them to death. Yesterday was diving board day and my 5 yr old would not do it, but the 7 yr old was brave enough to walk out onto the board and look down into the water. There he froze and looked at me and shook his head. I told one of the instuctors to not let him get off of the board and she counted to 3 and dropped him into the pool. He did great and wasn't really upset or anything after it was over.

So today when it was slide day I thought he would do fine, but he would not go. The instructors can't exactly force him to walk up the steps or anything. I tried talking to him, but he wasn't budging. I decided to just let it go. It's hard to know what to do in these situations. I don't want them to not try new things just because they are afraid, but I also want them to know that I won't look down on them because of their fear.

I want them to know that it is okay to be scared, but not okay to just give up without trying. Balancing those two is not always easy, is it?

Mommy Dilemma of the Week

Okay mommies...here is the new dilemma of the week:

Week #2

What is the best way to handle a toddler who does not want to stay in bed?

Sibling Rivalry

I remember what it was like when I was 13 and my little sister was 9 and all she wanted to do was follow me around - especially at my slumber parties. I also remember the time she slapped herself on the arm until it was red and then blamed it on me. There was also the time that I tortured her and made her believe her Cricket doll was like Chucky and it was going to come to life. Ahh, the memories...

Having siblings can be wonderful, but they can also be the source of a great deal of conflict in the home. My sister and I alternated between loving each other one minute and fighting like cats and dogs the next. Knowing that, you would think that it wouldn't surprise me that my two sons do the same thing.

My husband and I have a 4 bedroom home - which seemed huge when we started building it because we only had 2 kids. Halfway through building I got pregnant, and to make a long story short, the office became a nursery. We decided to put our sons (who are 19 months apart - 7 and almost 6 right now) in the same bedroom and use the other bedroom as a playroom. That seemed like such a great idea and it worked for almost 2 years. Now that my oldest son has a little brother and a little sister who seem to want to follow HIM everywhere, I figured that he would appreciate a space of his own. Last week I decided to split up the boys and turn the playroom into a bedroom. Boy that playroom was a mess. It took several days to get both rooms completely split and ready, but now its all done and the boys both seem really happy. I've actually noticed that they've been fighting a little bit less. It's nice having some peace and quiet around here... :)

Even though having a playroom was very convenient, each child having his or her own room is even better. Having all of us together in the family room is very special and we do it all the time, but having a big family means little alone time. Now that the boys have their own rooms, they can have that.

My sister and I are the very best of friends now, and I pray that my children will have that one day too. Until then I'll just have to play referee.

Mommy Dilemma of the Week

Each Monday I will post a new "mommy" dilemma. Please post a solution (whether you are a parent or not). It will be interesting to see the approaches different families take. Hopefully this will give parents new ideas!



Question #1:
What do you do with a child who is a picky eater and refuses to eat vegetables?

Answers

Isn't it funny the way one day you struggle so much with making a decision and the next day everything seems so clear?

Yesterday the answer to my dilemma came in the strangest way. I decided that my children come first and I will continue to work at the private Christian school that has been so good to me for the past 5 years. I may not be thrilled about teaching first graders again, but I just trust that God knows what He is doing!

Besides, I would miss getting to see my (almost 2-year old) daughter being pulled in the little wagon around the school campus during the day. I would also miss seeing all of the little music and awards programs that my sons participate in.

Being a mommy means sometimes sacrificing "stuff" in order to just be there.

Being a public school teacher: $33,000 a year.

Being with my kids: priceless.

Tough Decisions

As parents there are times when we are faced with decisions that seem impossible to make. Yesterday I was faced with one of those decisions.

I have been a teacher at a small private Christian school for 5 years. Yesterday I was notified that the school was having to downsize the upper grades and I would have to move from teaching 6th - 8th grade history to teaching 1st grade. It is fair to mention here that my first 4 years at this school I taught 1st grade waiting to move up to a more desirable position. Last year was wonderful. I was finally teaching the group of kids that I wanted, teaching the subject that I wanted...it was all too perfect. The best part of this job is that all 3 of my children attend there (we have a daycare facility also). On the down side, the annual salary is very low and we receive no benefits.

On the other hand...

The public schools in our area pay very well and have excellent benefits. My children are young and would not attend the schools I would want to work at. And, of course they do not have a daycare on site...

So why does it feel like it is a question of money vs. my kids? I don't ever want money to be the factor that determines my choices. But not having to struggle to pay my bills every month and having retirement benefits, etc. seems like it also would be helping my family. The school bus could drop off my school-age boys at my new school so that I wouldn't miss out on any time with them. My daughter goes to daycare so I would just have to pick her up after work like I do now anyway. I would definitely miss being right there with them (even though I rarely got to see them during the day), because somehow knowing I was there with them felt great.

Over the next few days and weeks I will be weighing all of this and trying to make the best decision for my family. I just pray that God will make His plan easy to see...

Dealing with Death in the Family

This week I have been in Tennessee in a hospital watching my grandfather in the final stages of cancer. The past several months have been a roller coaster as he would come upon the brink of death time after time and then miraculously bounce back. Early this week the doctor said he only had a matter of days left, so the family all came in to be with him during these final hours. Half of the days we have been here (I am sitting in my hotel room now) he has been amazingly lucid - even making jokes, while the other days he has been completely weak and slept all day. This week has been very emotional. As we get close to the end, my husband and I had to make a decision regarding whether or not we would allow our children to be with him in these last days. We decided it would be best for the kids to stay at home with family members instead. We felt that our children were not quite ready to see me or my parents in that kind of emotional state- not to mention the fact that we are spending most of each day in a hospital where they would be bored and possibly inappropriately loud. This is a decision we did not take lightly, nor do we feel that there is a single right or wrong answer. Each parent needs to take into account their children and what they are ready and able to handle. In our case, we felt like our children had seen their Papa recently enough and we would rather them remember him while he was able to get around and play with them instead of in a hospital bed with tubes connected to him.

When all of this is over I will speak to my kids and discuss what happened - on a level that they can understand. Whether or not children attend funeral services, or visit dying relatives is not really the key - it is communication with them after it is all over with that is important. Even young children have many questions about death, pain, sickness, and heaven. Make sure to patiently answer all questions as honestly as possible. And remember, just because a child does not come out and ask does not mean they are not struggling with a concept. You may have to probe a little.

There is no easy answer on how to help your small children cope during a family crisis like a death in the family, but the best way to start is to sit them in your lap and just listen.

Be Flexible

We had the whole day all planned out. We were doing so well. And then it rained. And it rained. And it rained...

This afternoon I was planning to take the kids to the library to see a juggler, but a terrible thunderstorm began this morning and lasted through early afternoon. Our plans had to change. Being the somewhat obsessive-compulsive (OC) person that I am, this could have thrown off our entire day.

Even though planning is a terrific thing (and I highly recommend working out daily schedules together), as mommies we have to be careful not to be inflexible. Sometimes the weather ruins our plans, and other times you find yourself having way too much fun doing one activity to move on to something else just because the time is "up". Organize your time together when it is appropriate, but be flexible enough to recognize times when it is better just to play it by ear. Some of the best times I've had with my kids are activities that we just came up with on the spur of the moment - some silly made-up game, an unplanned popcorn and movie time, or just a great big tickle war.

So come on you fellow OC parents. Throw out the schedule tonight and go have fun!!!

Avoiding Summer Overload

I sat down today to map out the summer schedule for our family and WOAH there is only like one week that we aren't doing something. Between swimming lessons, vacation Bible school, the summer reading program at the library, 2 of my kids' birthdays, as well as 2 separate week-long trips (one to see family and one for fun), we are really going to be on the go!!

As mommies we are anxious to enroll our children in camps and lessons galore during the summer, as if the number of activities our children participate in is a reflection of our parenting skills. As you work out your schedule this summer, don't forget to set aside time to just BE with your kids. One of the best parts of summertime is having more time to spend with the kids - don't feel the need to fill up every moment of that time. Take time each day this summer to enjoy them.

Remember that being a mommy is the best job we can have!!

Great Way to Encourage Kids to Read

Yesterday a great thing happened. My kids and I write a schedule every morning now that the summer is here to help them plan out what they want to do for the day. Included are meals, snack times, tv time, video game time, reading time, outside play time, playroom time, clean up time, etc. This way the days aren't wasted with TV and video games. When reading time was up yesterday and it was finally TV/Video time, my oldest son decided to keep on reading!! And it is all thanks to a wonderful website called www.bookadventure.org.

It works similar to the school program called Accelerated Reader. Children read books and take a quiz testing their comprehension. Even my Kindergartener did the quizzes - and scored a 100 every time! They earn so many points depending on the difficulty of the book chosen and their score on the quiz. A few companies have even donated some prizes (small things, mind you) for children once they reach so many points. A great feature for parents is that you can monitor their progress and make your own certificates for them to access once they reach a certain score. I HIGHLY recommend this site as a mom and a teacher.

You can search for books on your child's reading level, say first grade, and then print out a list to take to the library (or to your own child's bedroom library). I took out about one shelf of books from my kids' bookcase and several of their books were on the site. Kids love it because they earn the points, and parents & teachers love it because it gets kids reading for comprehension!

Check it out and tell me what you think!

So This is Normal?

In the evening when I crawl into bed and reflect on the day's happenings (juice cups spilled, children fighting, something broken, clothing soiled, etc., etc., etc.) I sometimes find myself saying, "Is this normal?"

Is it normal to feel completely exhausted after "parenting" all day?
Is it normal for my sons to have to be reminded a million times a day to keep their rooms clean?
Is it normal to put the toddler in front of the TV for an hour just so I can get some housework done?
Is it normal to feel like I don't know what the heck I'm doing sometimes?

The answer to all of these questions is an unequivocal YES.

I have to admit it: sometimes I watch SuperNanny just so that I can feel better about my own relationship with my children. :) That's when I realize that I don't have it so bad - I'm not a failure. Being a parent is not easy, nor will it ever become easy. Growing up watching shows like Donna Reed and Leave it to Beaver (on Nick at Nite - I'm not that old) kind of makes you feel like you have to be perfect to be a successful parent. But being a good parent is recognizing that YOU aren't perfect and your CHILDREN aren't perfect, but you have to do the job anyway.

God did not make a mistake when He created me. He created my children to complement me, knowing my weaknesses, knowing my failures, and knowing my inconsistencies. My job is to recognize those things and work on them, and in the meantime to realize that I'm not a failure -- I am normal.

I just don't want to stay that way.

You Might Be A Mommy if...

Jeff Foxworthy has his list, and I have mine...

You might be a Mommy if...

• you know the names of all 4 Wiggles
• you haven't seen anything but G rated movies all week
• you can make an entire meal out of what's under your sofa cushions
• you think boogers and spit up are the new style (sorry - that was a gross one)
• you go to pay for your groceries at the supermarket and a pacifier falls out of your purse
• your ideal evening is one where you stay in bed all night with your husband -- ALONE -- and just sleep
• if halfway through reading this post you had to stop to take someone to the potty

More coming soon...

If you have any additions, please feel free to post them here! :)

Introduction

Hello and welcome to the first crazy episode of my life. First I must introduce the main characters: Ryan (7), Brandon (5 1/2), and Gabrielle (almost 2). Now let's begin...

Today was interesting to say the least. I went to the parish library today for story time and to register for the Summer Reading Program. A friend of mine met me there with her two kids (6 and almost 2). Now for those of you who did not notice, that brought the tmc (total munchkin count) to 5 children under the age of 8!! We were so embarrassed at how wound up our kids became after story time was over and it was time to check out a few books! Are you ever out in public and feel like you have the ONLY kids who misbehave? The boys were jumping off of the soft furniture (for the kids to lounge on to read books - shaped like animals) while the babies were pulling books off of the shelves. It was a little stressful there for a few minutes, but we made it through. Now, it is not ALWAYS that bad, don't get me wrong, but I have some days when they aren't the easiest bunch to manage. I guess we all have days when Mommyhood pushes our stress level to the max, but in the end I wouldn't trade my kids for anything in the world and I thank God for blessing me with them!